Focusing on being a good parent, research concludes that sexual orientation is not a determining factor. Being the children or child of gay parents is not a disability or a disease, so treat them no differently than other kids. Children of gay parents are much more common today with the amount of gay couples wanting to raise kids. There are over nine million kids today that have gay parents, and many existing opportunities for gay couples to adopt or become parents. Children may ask why there are two dads or two moms since they can take in information at an early age. Discuss emotional bonds that same-sex couples share and how it compares to different relationships. You should have discussions beforehand with a friend or spouse to prepare for this conversation. Use appropriate and direct language when speaking with children about gay parents. Show them it is okay being gay by showing confidence, being direct, and feeling comfortable with who you are.

Focusing on the positive is important; there are also negative realities to share with the child. Let them know possibilities of discrimination, harassment, ridicule, or even hate, and that these may be experienced also by their parents. Start early to educate others around the children, like their friends, teachers, and other parents, making them aware of risks of ridicule from peers. The community and children often mimic actions of educators or teachers and parents. Be careful in referring to gays and the actions used around gay people. Let them find acceptance and comfort in yours. Support can be found in a resource called (COLAGE) Children of Lesbians and Gays Everywhere. Support groups are provided for open discussions relating to issues other children of gay parents have.