Relationships | Coast to Coast Pride

The Bisexual Dating Dilemma

Whether you are a male or female bisexual, dating can get a bit sticky from time to time. There is always the dilemma of which sex that you will be dating and how they will react to your sexual identity. When a bisexual individual tries to date a heterosexual there can be some disappointment for both parties. Being open and honest up front is always the best advice because if the potential partner has an issue with it, then that person is definitely not going to be the one for you. Finding that information out ahead of time will save yourself from wasting time trying to be something that you are not. Most bisexuals have already spent a great deal of time hiding who they are from the world and it shouldn’t be necessary with a partner.

You also cannot change the way that others feel towards you. Just the same, they cannot change who you are either. This is especially true for bisexuals and trans-genders. Some people in this world just will not accept anything that is different from them and it will be a waste of your time in trying to make them accept you. Our society and media have made large strides in changing some of these unwanted views and poor behaviors towards homosexuality, though there are still ones that continue to cast judgment. You do not want to go out with these types of people anyway.

There are ways to find similar individuals though, within dating websites, support groups and personal classifieds. Seeking out those that will accept the fact that you are of bisexual orientation or even bisexuals themselves are the best bet for happiness. Luckily for the future generations, today bisexuality is much more widely accepted and not nearly as taboo as it had been in the past. You can find the one of your dreams by discovering similar interests and values, not by their gender necessarily.

Filed Under: Relationships Tagged With: Bisexuality, Dating, Gay Lesbian and Bisexual, United States

Association of Gay Men and Fashion

Throughout history there has always been a connection of homosexuality and fashion. Being a homosexual in the beginning of the 20th century, it was illegal and disapproved of morally. But lesbians and gay men both found a way of expressing their identities from choices of dress. Lesbians adopted obvious masculine attire and gay men chose obvious feminine attire, to mark their identities. Gay men know their deficits, assets, and sexuality and dress to attract other men, wearing outfits, not just clothing. They dress up for any occasion; whether its anniversaries, parties, weddings or even just because it is Tuesday. Gay men are hopelessly romantic and feel the need to be prepared and dress for potential liaisons.

The color green was once signifiers of sexual orientation around the 1890’s; in Paris green ties were worn. By the time of World War II, New York gays wore red ties to signify identity. In the 1960′s a great signifier was suede shoes and anyone that was wearing suede shoes came under suspicion. A lot of obviously gay men adopted female dress and mannerisms; plucked eyebrows, make up on their eyes, peroxide hair, and blouses. Gay liberation came along and effeminate dressing started to wane. After demanding equality and recognition, gay men took on a more masculine dress style and took inspiration from; lumberjacks, construction workers, and cowboys. They chose to wear masculine attire of really tight Levi’s, work boots, short hair, moustaches, and bright plaid shirts.

Many top high fashion designers were either bisexual or gay and took over gentleman’s outfitters and tailors of men’s fashion. Gay men seemed willing to try out new ideas, fabrics, and styles in men’s clothing. Some even went out to discover ideas for their collections from the streets and gay clubs. Great names in 20th century fashion included Christian Dior, Yves Saint Laurent, Halston, Giorgio Armani, Gianni Versace, and Calvin Klein. In 1980′s straight men started getting interested in their clothes, appearance, and grooming, especially in their workplace. Soon men were portrayed in advertising as sex objects, and gay influence was not only in designers but also photographers, hairdressers, and stylists.

Filed Under: Lifestyle, Relationships Tagged With: Calvin Klein, Fashion, Men who have sex with men

On the Path to LGBT Law—Tips for Smooth Sailing

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You’re probably like most college age students in that you have an interest you’re passionate about, and dream of pursuing a career in that area. If you’re part of the lesbian, gay, bisexual, transsexual community, you may be passionate about a future in LGBT law.

LGBT is a hot topic these days. Governments around the world are debating same-sex marriage rights, and issues like prejudice, tolerance, and discrimination continue to surface. While tolerance has improved dramatically in recent years, there’s still room for improvement. Individuals and couples that are part of the LGBT community fight daily for equal treatment and rights. As a lesbian or gay student preparing for college, studying law could put you in a position to fight for the rights of the LGBT community. So how do you become a lawyer specializing in LGBT law? These tips can help get you started in the right direction:

Your career in LGBT will start with the JD, which will lead to specialization. More and more universities are welcoming lesbian and gay students and improving LGBT studies offerings. You’ll want to visit the websites of prospective universities to see what they offer in association with your area of concentration. Additionally, these websites will provide information about clubs and organizations for the LGBT community.
You won’t want to simply visit the websites of possible law schools however, you’ll want to visit each campus if possible. Getting a feel for the environment and speaking to fellow lesbian and gay students about their own college life can hugely influence your choice of schools.
It’s no secret that law school is expensive, so saving is important. You may want to consider starting your education through an online university to help save money for law school. You can find programs through a website like earnmydegree.com.

Filed Under: Relationships Tagged With: Gay, Law, Lesbian, LGBT, Same-sex marriage

Sexuality and Your Adolescent Child

In these turbulent times of media influences and ever changing societal beliefs, it is tough enough being a child. Throw in the confusion that one feels about their own sexuality and that creates more demanding issues. Growing up can be extremely difficult with all of the challenging feelings that every adolescent experiences, let alone the ones that are feeling something other than the norm. Most children experiment with changing roles within their own gender while they are growing up; boys play house with baby dolls and girls play monster trucks. None of this behavior is indicative of sexual orientation.

For parents, having an adolescent going through this type of sexual confusion, it can be difficult to nurture without some guidance. You will need to absolutely and clearly understand that your child is not abnormal, nor is this some sort of mental disorder. It is simply basic instinct for them to be attracted emotionally and physically to people of the same gender. Most lesbian, gay and bisexual individuals begin to feel these attractions and become aware early in their development. This is an important time to retain their good self image and pride so that they can grow into healthy, happy and productive adults, regardless of their sexual orientation.

A few remaining pieces of advice for parents that are raising self aware children are listed as guidelines. There are several support groups and organizations available for additional resources, if necessary. Don’t make them feel guilty over sexual feelings towards the opposite sex. Allow them to express themselves freely without fear of condemnation. Never let them feel rejected by other family members in your household and make sure that they know they are normal and loved. The bottom line is to raise productive adults that feel proud of themselves and not ashamed of whom they are. Counseling for teens could assist in other areas of development if they feel comfortable in doing so. Acceptance of peers, family and friends is vital to the well being of these future leaders, so we need to support them in any way possible.

Filed Under: Relationships Tagged With: Adolescence, Child, Gay Lesbian and Bisexual, Sexual orientation, Sexuality

Difficulty in “Coming Out” for Gay People

The term “coming out” represents public and personal acknowledgement of the attraction to same sex individuals, and integrating it into their vocational, social, and personal lives. It is often a difficult and long time processing their identity of being gay, lesbian, or bisexual. Not being just one event, there are a few stages to this process of coming out; to self, to others, exploration, integration, and relationships.

Once becoming aware of an attraction to people of the same sex, there are feelings of isolation and fear to overcome, often setting up defenses of repression and denial before understanding their romantic feelings are strong and can not be changed. This involves acknowledging to themselves “lesbian, bisexual, or gay” describes what they feel and want. Just knowing doesn’t mean they accept they are gay, some struggle with fear of rejection, guilt, shame, and keep their knowledge hidden. Once acceptance is made of being bisexual, gay, or lesbian, disclosure usually is made to a trusted family member or friend.

After acknowledging, accepting, and disclosing their sexuality, their next stage is in exploring how they fit into their new world. This often brings on confusion, intensity, awkwardness, and is extremely sexual and might be construed as promiscuous. During this time of discovering sexual partners, gay identity and self esteem could be enhanced, but also might become not only compulsive but addictive as well. Establishing and negotiating a relationship with just one person will meet both of their emotional and sexual needs. Some relationships might last forever, but if not, there are things one can learn from every relationship. After becoming comfortable with whom they are most initial anger, grief, self-hatred, fear, and panic is replaced and resolved. They have a peaceful feeling about who they are as a bisexual, gay, or lesbian person. They don’t feel they have to broadcast or hide their gay awareness because it really doesn’t matter who knows or what they think.

Filed Under: Lifestyle, Relationships Tagged With: Bisexuality, Gay, Gay Lesbian and Bisexual, Homosexuality, Lesbian, Sexual partner

Supporting Children With Same-Sex Parents

Focusing on being a good parent, research concludes that sexual orientation is not a determining factor. Being the children or child of gay parents is not a disability or a disease, so treat them no differently than other kids. Children of gay parents are much more common today with the amount of gay couples wanting to raise kids. There are over nine million kids today that have gay parents, and many existing opportunities for gay couples to adopt or become parents. Children may ask why there are two dads or two moms since they can take in information at an early age. Discuss emotional bonds that same-sex couples share and how it compares to different relationships. You should have discussions beforehand with a friend or spouse to prepare for this conversation. Use appropriate and direct language when speaking with children about gay parents. Show them it is okay being gay by showing confidence, being direct, and feeling comfortable with who you are.

Focusing on the positive is important; there are also negative realities to share with the child. Let them know possibilities of discrimination, harassment, ridicule, or even hate, and that these may be experienced also by their parents. Start early to educate others around the children, like their friends, teachers, and other parents, making them aware of risks of ridicule from peers. The community and children often mimic actions of educators or teachers and parents. Be careful in referring to gays and the actions used around gay people. Let them find acceptance and comfort in yours. Support can be found in a resource called (COLAGE) Children of Lesbians and Gays Everywhere. Support groups are provided for open discussions relating to issues other children of gay parents have.

Filed Under: Relationships Tagged With: Gay, LGBT parenting, Same-sex relationship

History of the Lesbian Lifestyle

The lesbian term is used to describe romantic and sexual desires between women. Throughout time, female homosexuality existed in several cultures, but only recently has the word lesbian referred to them as a group. Historians re-examined those relationships in history between women and came up with three identifying components for lesbians: sexual identity, desire, or behavior.

In the 17th-19th centuries, when women expressed love passionately to other women, it was accepted, fashionable, and even encouraged. These encounters were said to be romantic friendships and were very common in Europe, especially England. When a woman formed an exclusive and strong bond with another woman, she would be considered still virtuous, chaste, and innocent. A woman’s reputation would have been destroyed if she had formed the same relationship with a man.

Men have set standards for respectability in family, sex, and love relationships and have overlooked or considered lesbianism an invalid sexuality expression. Sexologists believed early on those lesbian challenging gender roles as being mentally ill. Since that time, lesbians reacted as immoral outcasts and created subcultures based on rebellion of gender roles. Recently, standards are challenged by feminist movements. Some women that engage in behavior of homosexuality reject the identity and refuse to be known as bisexual or lesbian. Homosexuality in males and adultery has gotten more negative responses from criminal and religious authorities than from female homosexuality.

Society has been both threatened and intrigued with women who challenge their gender roles, appalled and fascinated with those women who become romantically associated with other women. However, those women adopting that identity, as homosexuals, are rejected and face discrimination from friends, families, and others. Lesbians continue being affected by social attitudes in forming families and lesbian relationships.

Filed Under: Lifestyle, Relationships Tagged With: Homosexuality, Lesbian, Sexual identity