The Necessity of Understanding: Transgender

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Convention defines genders — expectations and assumptions, truths that refuse to bend. The roles of women and men are as specific as they are narrow: crafted long ago, forced to remain even as the centuries yielded progress. Definitions are limiting. Rules are carefully maintained. And the result is a society that refuses to accept anything less than ordinary.

The public can survive such scrutiny. An individual, however, can’t. And those with transgender identities deserve the chance to express themselves.

The notion of transgender individuals often baffles. Its meanings are obscure; its purpose is often mistranslated. And what remains is a term that’s too often tossed about without understanding. Recognizing what it represents is essential, however — this is the only way to gain acceptance for it.

Simply explained, transgender is the label offered to those who defy traditional roles. Masculine and feminine traits are exchanged with ease; and personalities shape these individuals, rather than their assigned sexes. They don’t try to reconstruct their bodies (through surgery or medication). Instead they remain as they were born — but simply refuse to conform to what is expected of them.

It’s estimated that one in every 30,000 men is transgender, along with one of every 100,000 women. These numbers suggest a frequency that is often disregarded within the public — all of whom are too quick to assume that sexual identities are definite. It’s important to understand that this lifestyle is not rare and that it deserves recognition. Refusing to admit its existence is without purpose or compassion.

 

Separate but Equal?

Those who remember the fight for civil liberties of African-Americans and for women may well feel a certain recognition at what the gay community is currently experiencing. As the generations change and the youth of today are much more accepting of a homosexual lifestyle, gays are taking to the streets and the courts to demand basic rights in regards to their relationships.

 

The most prominent example is of course the right to marriage, a right which seems so unlikely to be challenged but which nevertheless is hotly contested. Currently gays can enter into a “civil union” that entails many of the same rights as those enjoyed by a married couple, yet this raises memories of the old “separate but equal” practices of discrimination. Those who oppose gay marriage argue from a definitional standpoint, asserting that marriage means a union between a man and a women; yet, what is really at stake is the societal recognition of a homosexual union as equally legitimate to a heterosexual one.

 

Considering that this nation that has overcome racism and misogyny nevertheless still faces discrimination on both counts, there is no doubt that a complete change in attitude with respect to gay marriage may take a long time to effect; yet, the very fact that this nation has made such great strides in these areas in such a short time should be cause for hope. America is a country of tolerance and progressiveness, ideals its naysayers would do well to remember.

Attend a Pride Parade, Show your Support!

Toronto Gay Pride Parade 2007 

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A “Pride Parade” is an event that normally takes Place around June and is used to show support for LBGT(lesbian,bisexual,gay,transgender)culture, oftentimes having demonstrations for gay marriage. Pride Parades are for everyone who supports and takes part in LBGT culture. Most Parades take place around June, to commemorate the “stonewall riots.” The First Pride Parade took place in New York City,NY in November of 1969. Many organizations who oppose the LBGT lifestyle are also invited to hold opposing demonstrations in opposite parts of town.

Lesbian,Bisexual,Gay and Trans-gender peoples are not the only ones who can attend such parades. Associations like PFLAG(Parents for Lesbians and Gays) and GAA(Gay Activist Alliance) Churches attend as well, like Metropolitan church of Christ, Unitarian Universalist, and United Church Of Christ churches. Parades can be celebratory, with floats and loud music. this is only in towns that are more open and supportive though, as regularly pride parades happen to be political in their nature. Many  who support gay marriage politians use these parades for their political brackets.Pride Parades are held all over the world, even in countries like Israel and Russia.

Celebrities also have taken part in pride parades, many in honorary positions, such as Lady Gaga and Andy Cohen. Many celebrities who have partners and lead a homosexual lifestyle are proud to be participants in pride parades all over the world.  Cities all over the world and in the United States have their own Pride Parades, In order to find out if there is a Pride Parade near you, ask your city mayor, or look online!

It Gets Better

College students raising the rainbow flag. 

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In high school, everyone gets bullied for being different. But gay and lesbian students get it worst of all. These kids are told that somethng that is fundamental to who they are is not only different but wrong. And the worst part of it is, unlike those who get picked on for being too short or wearing the wrong kind of shoes, it is not only the kids who are doing it. Adults are doing the bullying as well. Many of them grew up in a different time, and are passing their closed-mindedness on to the next generation. But the tides are changing.

As the recent, and tragic, suicides of gay teens showed us, bullying can be lethal it is a serious thing. And it is up to us to do something about it. Dan Savage’s “It Gets Better” project compiles videos, many from high-profile celebrities, telling gay and lesbian youths that there is hope, that although life seems cruel now, they do have a future.

In California, the state whose famous Proposition 8 delivered a huge blow against same-sex unions (and may end up being the definitive gay marriage battle in the courts), the state senate recently passed a bill mandating that gay history be taught in schools. This bill would hopefully show LGBT that there are people out there like them, fighting for their rights, and there have been for many years. It could also teach all students to be more open-minded.

It will be a hard-won fight, but it gets better.

Create a Successful Online Dating Profile

You’re single and want to meet someone new. But you want to avoid the glitches that come with spending time with someone who really isn’t interested in who you are or what you want. Though finding someone through online singles dating is not an easy task, a successful effort can make a huge difference in your life. The process of creating an online dating profile is definitely a creative venture, one that needs your time, your honest heart and your positive outlook to keep it going.

These online dating ideas will help:

  • Spend some time. Make it a point to create a reflective and interesting profile. See your dating profile as an important “get your foot in the door” opportunity, somewhat like a resume gets you in the door of a desired company.
  • Talk about your family. Are you recently divorced? Have you never been married? Do you have children?
  • Be honest. If you are a woman 5-foot-10 inches in height, don’t change the numbers even if you feel you are too tall for many men. If you don’t like sports, be honest about that. If you need a woman who is a better listener than she is a talker, make sure that your voice is heard.
  • Be positive. Even if you feel like a portion of your profile will be seen as negative, support all your thoughts with positive statements about what you have learned from your life’s experiences.

Singles dating, online or otherwise, doesn’t have to be difficult to be rewarding. What it takes is the ability to project, in a positive way, who you are and what you are looking for in a relationship.

Online Presence Leads to Jobs

Some of the best jobs that come our way are never advertised. Some research states that more than half of all jobs that are filled are staffed with people that had some type of connection to the person looking to fill that job. Establishing an effective online profile can lead people to you and your skills.  There are many popular social and professional networking sites. Setting up the right type of profile is crucial to establishing a presence and drawing the attention of hiring managers.

Don’t lie. It rarely pays to exaggerate ones skills on a resume or a profile. If you claim certain skills and cannot perform them on a new job, you may not last very long at that employer. The key in a profile, as in a resume, is to highlight past successes or demonstrated skills to show value to an employer. Reviewing past accomplishments may take some practice but these items come in handy for resumes and even negotiating a raise during a performance appraisal at a current job.

Match your profile to your personality and your goals. Many networking sites have spots for a personal portraitor “head-shot”. A professional may wear a suit and tie in their picture if that is how they dress on the job and people recognize them in this attire. In contrast an artist or designer may have a much more casual picture highlighting tattoos or facial piercings. At the least, their clothing would match their personal or professional style which is most likely different than a Wall Street Executive.

Establishing a strong online presence can be a path to landing jobs. Choosing the options that suit you and your goals is the key.

Dispelling the Myth that Homosexual Parents Raise Gay Children

Gay Couple with Child

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Many close-minded types cling to the ridiculous notion that homosexual parents will indoctrinate children into being gay. This is so far from the truth that it’s in outer space. Having a gay lifestyle is not something that many homosexuals will say that they did not willingly chose. They cannot fight their biology and deny who they really are, deep down inside. But the fact that they are gay should not and does not keep them from being excellent parents to perfectly normal children.

No one understands more deeply that their sexuality is ingrained into them as someone who is homosexual. Only those who are twisted go out and try to “convert” straight people into becoming gay, and even then they aim for adults, not children.

Instead, gay parents want to raise children because they desire to have someone carry on their legacy, even if it is not genetic. But even there it is not so simplistic. Gay couples adopt or have surrogate children because they want the completion of having a family. They are fully prepared for the challenges of raising a child into adulthood and embrace it willingly. There is no agenda here to create a fictional gay army to take over the world. The couple dreads the day that their little girl brings home a man just the same as a hetero couple does. That is to say, they realize that their little girl is now a woman and will soon be leaving them. All they want is to experience life the same way as a hetero family does, and maybe even have what may have been denied to them when they were growing up.

An Evolutionary Argument for the Existance of Homosexuality

It has only been within the last two hundred years, if that, in which homosexuality has become a taboo issue. Puritan attitudes by and large have made homosexuality a hot button issue in the US. This attitude ignores the fact that homosexuality has been known in humanity since the dawn of mankind. In fact, there is proof of homosexuality in all mammals. So why has evolution seen fit to provide a population that will not reproduce, a trait that denies the most driving tenet of life?

Humans started out as hunter-gatherer societies. The men left the camps to hunt and bring back meat while the women bore then raised the children and gathered edibles. Having a homosexual male in the group provided a pair of hands to help with caring for the children, someone who was not focused on the hunting and would stay around to assist with the female’s chores. The women had help that was young, strong and not likely to be limited as with someone who was elderly. Children benefited by having a close relation raise them as opposed to someone unrelated. They would also benefit by being the recipients of any excess the homosexual relation might need to dispose of, be it clothing or food.

Fast forward to current times and we find not much has changed since then. Families who have a homosexual relative often look to that individual for assistance. Not being encumbered with children and family duties gives the gay family member an opportunity to provide many things to the siblings with children. And children benefit from the loving attention provided by the uncle or aunt who have no children of their own to spoil.

 

Is Gay Marriage Really Opening Pandora’s Box?

To listen to a certain segment of the population, letting homosexuals marry opens up a whole can of worms. They are convinced that if gay marriage is legalized in the US, all forms of marriage will clamor for legitimization and dilute the overall idea. But will it really? Hardly.

For all of those Chicken Littles who want to run around yelling the sky is falling, they may as well keep their heads firmly stuck in the sand. Keeping the concept of marriage solidly between two people is what prevents it from becoming a free-for-all. It is up to legislators to keep an open mind while planting their feet firmly on the line and not budging from it.

And when it really comes down to it, marriage is a religious construct, not necessarily a legal one. Certainly a judge has the ability to declare a man and a woman as joined together, but there is nothing stopping the couple from heading to the alter for another ceremony. Why object to letting a homsexual couple to be able to partake in the legal rights that are afforded to hetero ones? From a legal standpoint there is plenty of advantage to be had. Hosptials can no longer turn away same-sex partners and wills can not be so easily challenged just to name a couple of benefits.

Biology is blind. There are times when nature will win out over nurture, and sexual preference is one of those times. Why deny someone happiness just because their brain set them on a course that is different from the majority?

 

Association of Gay Men and Fashion

Throughout history there has always been a connection of homosexuality and fashion. Being a homosexual in the beginning of the 20th century, it was illegal and disapproved of morally. But lesbians and gay men both found a way of expressing their identities from choices of dress. Lesbians adopted obvious masculine attire and gay men chose obvious feminine attire, to mark their identities. Gay men know their deficits, assets, and sexuality and dress to attract other men, wearing outfits, not just clothing. They dress up for any occasion; whether its anniversaries, parties, weddings or even just because it is Tuesday. Gay men are hopelessly romantic and feel the need to be prepared and dress for potential liaisons.

 

The color green was once signifiers of sexual orientation around the 1890’s; in Paris green ties were worn. By the time of World War II, New York gays wore red ties to signify identity. In the 1960′s a great signifier was suede shoes and anyone that was wearing suede shoes came under suspicion. A lot of obviously gay men adopted female dress and mannerisms; plucked eyebrows, make up on their eyes, peroxide hair, and blouses. Gay liberation came along and effeminate dressing started to wane. After demanding equality and recognition, gay men took on a more masculine dress style and took inspiration from; lumberjacks, construction workers, and cowboys. They chose to wear masculine attire of really tight Levi’s, work boots, short hair, moustaches, and bright plaid shirts.

 

Many top high fashion designers were either bisexual or gay and took over gentleman’s outfitters and tailors of men’s fashion. Gay men seemed willing to try out new ideas, fabrics, and styles in men’s clothing. Some even went out to discover ideas for their collections from the streets and gay clubs. Great names in 20th century fashion included Christian Dior, Yves Saint Laurent, Halston, Giorgio Armani, Gianni Versace, and Calvin Klein. In 1980′s straight men started getting interested in their clothes, appearance, and grooming, especially in their workplace. Soon men were portrayed in advertising as sex objects, and gay influence was not only in designers but also photographers, hairdressers, and stylists.