General | Coast to Coast Pride

The Necessity of Understanding: Transgender

Convention defines genders — expectations and assumptions, truths that refuse to bend. The roles of women and men are as specific as they are narrow: crafted long ago, forced to remain even as the centuries yielded progress. Definitions are limiting. Rules are carefully maintained. And the result is a society that refuses to accept anything less than ordinary.

The public can survive such scrutiny. An individual, however, can’t. And those with transgender identities deserve the chance to express themselves.

The notion of transgender individuals often baffles. Its meanings are obscure; its purpose is often mistranslated. And what remains is a term that’s too often tossed about without understanding. Recognizing what it represents is essential, however — this is the only way to gain acceptance for it.

Simply explained, transgender is the label offered to those who defy traditional roles. Masculine and feminine traits are exchanged with ease; and personalities shape these individuals, rather than their assigned sexes. They don’t try to reconstruct their bodies (through surgery or medication). Instead they remain as they were born — but simply refuse to conform to what is expected of them.

It’s estimated that one in every 30,000 men is transgender, along with one of every 100,000 women. These numbers suggest a frequency that is often disregarded within the public — all of whom are too quick to assume that sexual identities are definite. It’s important to understand that this lifestyle is not rare and that it deserves recognition. Refusing to admit its existence is without purpose or compassion.

Filed Under: General, Lifestyle Tagged With: Male to Female, Transgender, Transgendered

How to Find the Best Jobs

Finding great jobs is not rocket science. There are a couple of strategies that can help you find the position you want-when you want it. The internet is huge resource for any employment search. A second source is personal contacts. These can be the two biggest factors that lead to successful employment.

The internet has numerous “bulletin boards” that have postings for almost every job imaginable. These can range from an hourly dishwasher to the president of a company. These boards can be narrowed down by industry, employer or even company. Most of these resources are free of charge to the employment seeker. A search agent can be set up to automatically e-mail you when a new position that meets your criteria becomes available. This is a great way to make yourself aware of opportunities that interest you-even if you are happy in your current work.

The second strategy in this search is to utilize personal contacts. It is important to know people and talk to people as much as you can-especially if you are looking to work. Establishing a network of people that you can help and, likewise, will want to help you, can be invaluable. Meeting people can be done anywhere: the grocery store, car mechanic, or (even better) industry association meetings and gatherings. Finding people with similar interests can give you a bond that will make them remember you when they come across a position that needs to be filled. Don’t overlook online opportunities to build your personal network. There are many social networking sites where you can “meet” friends of friends that may be able to assist you in your search. There are also professional sites that specialize in career-oriented people.

Finding a great job doesn’t have to be hard. It just takes some organization and persistence. Knowing where to look and how to constantly reach out to people that can help or may be able to help in the future can be the keys to success in the long run.

Filed Under: General Tagged With: Employment, Personal Network, Social network service

Children can be More Open than their Parents

Children can be more open to new ideas and sharing feelings than some parents. This is due, primarily, to less intimidation and more trust in people than many adults.

The behavior of most adults is shaped by experiences. These experiences can be good and bad. For example if a person touches their hand to a stove top and gets burned, this experience leads them to avoid touching a stove top, without examining the risk, in the future. The same can be said for social situations. Many behaviors formed in childhood can last well into adulthood. An adult may have experienced ridicule or insults for sharing their ideas and feelings in the past. This can lead to not sharing this type of information later in life due to past experiences. Children, on the other hand, do not have as many experiences and will not have the same level of potential intimidation about sharing their feelings on topics.

The same equation can be applied to children and adults when it comes to trust. Adult behavior regarding trust is formed from past experience as well. If an adult trusts people over time, the number of total people increases. With that number of people, the chances of betrayal or having a trust broken also increases. These instances can build habits and behaviors in adults that have not been formed by young people.

Children can be more open, honest and trusting due to their lack of experience and negative outcomes in life. If these young people exercise some caution as they build their bank of experiences, they have the potential to experience more and learn more about themselves and others.

Filed Under: General, Relationships Tagged With: Adult, Behavior, Child

Online Presence Leads to Jobs

Some of the best jobs that come our way are never advertised. Some research states that more than half of all jobs that are filled are staffed with people that had some type of connection to the person looking to fill that job. Establishing an effective online profile can lead people to you and your skills. There are many popular social and professional networking sites. Setting up the right type of profile is crucial to establishing a presence and drawing the attention of hiring managers.

Don’t lie. It rarely pays to exaggerate ones skills on a resume or a profile. If you claim certain skills and cannot perform them on a new job, you may not last very long at that employer. The key in a profile, as in a resume, is to highlight past successes or demonstrated skills to show value to an employer. Reviewing past accomplishments may take some practice but these items come in handy for resumes and even negotiating a raise during a performance appraisal at a current job.

Match your profile to your personality and your goals. Many networking sites have spots for a personal portraitor “head-shot”. A professional may wear a suit and tie in their picture if that is how they dress on the job and people recognize them in this attire. In contrast an artist or designer may have a much more casual picture highlighting tattoos or facial piercings. At the least, their clothing would match their personal or professional style which is most likely different than a Wall Street Executive.

Establishing a strong online presence can be a path to landing jobs. Choosing the options that suit you and your goals is the key.

Filed Under: General, Lifestyle Tagged With: Employment, Professional network service, Résumé

Save Time on Technical Support

As technology evolves, the need for support of this technology grows along with it. This can be for all kinds of products from computers and cell phones to refrigerators and coffeemakers. Some ways to save time when dealing with a technician is to do some research beforehand and utilize an online method of contact when possible.

As a consumer, you may not have much practice in troubleshooting a computer. The internet has vast resources to find help to common problems based on symptoms. Taking some time to do this research may help to solve the problem without having to take the time to initiate a service call. Even if you can’t solve the problem through this method, it provides you with some additional knowledge about the product and you may be able to expedite your service when you do contact the center for help. When you can describe the problem to a technician and also tell them that you have already tried the two or three specific solutions found on their website with no success, they can more easily pinpoint the problem and find the right solution. This saves time for you and the technician.

Another tactic to save time when seeking technical assistance is to use an online method of communication when possible. Smaller companies may have a limited number of service people and offer e-mail as the only means of contact. This allows the company to respond at their convenience and does not lead to spending time on-hold on the telephone. Another time-savers to utilize online chat for help when available. This can speed up communication between yourself and the technician. By typing the conversation, both of you can review what has been said as the conversation progresses. No note taking is needed.

It is inevitable that everyone will need technical support at one time or another. Using these tips can help.

Filed Under: Advice, General Tagged With: Online chat, Technical support, Technician

Beliefs of Children are Driven by Technology

Children have an unlimited amount of channels that form their belief system. These beliefs will generally come from where the child spends their time. Often, with school and other activities, a child may spend very little, if any, time with their parents on a normal day. A working parent has limited time available for family and this may not fit the kid’s schedule. Television and social networking can be the two biggest factors that influence how a young adult thinks and what they believe in.

Television provides entertainment but also views of various lifestyles that a child may not be exposed to in-person. These lifestyles may be positive or negative in the eyes of parents but this is beyond their control. Understanding where a child gets their information and opinions about topics is the key. Characters (real or fictional) on television can serve as role models and build beliefs about stereotypes for different individuals and groups.

Another factor in forming a belief structure for children is social networking. The groups and individualized web sites that they create and visit can have a huge impact on what a child believes and thinks. Peer pressure and group-think that can happen in a face-to-face meeting can be amplified by the sheer number of contacts that a young adult can have on social networking sites. At school, for instance, they may only physically talk to 20 people. With networking, they can reach out and communicate with hundreds of people at a time with a single keystroke. This can be a very powerful media that can make children who they are.

The technology available to children continues to grow exponentially. The channels of media that they consume can be the foundation of what they believe in and how they develop trust for people and groups.

Filed Under: Advice, General Tagged With: Belief, Child, Parent

Children can Learn at Home

Learning shouldn’t stop for children when the leave the classroom at school. There are tons of things that they can learn in the home that can prove to be useful late in life. Young people can learn things like responsibility and basic life skills that they will need when they go out on their own.

Cooking in the home can be a huge help to children later in life. Diet is important for every person. Knowing how to cook good food and find values, like cooking vegetables that are in season, can provided a lifetime of healthy eating habits. It doesn’t take much work to teach a child to cook. Making the process fun and safe are key factors in the process. Involving kids in menu planning can help them get excited about cooking. They can be especially proud when the family sits down for a meal that the child cooked (or helped cook). Another benefit from this process is a sense of accomplishment.

Having children help with housework can instill some values and knowledge that will last a lifetime. Household chores like cleaning carpets, floors and picking up after themselves instills good habits. If the young person knows that they have to clean the dining room floor, they may be more careful when they eat so they don’t make a mess that they will have to clean up later. This can be a key to being responsible later in life. Parents can also look at this process as training for the kid’s adult life. They have to learn somewhere how to complete basic household chores. A young adult who does not know how to clean their home can run into social problems and even health issues from an unsanitary environment.

Cooking and cleaning may not sound glamorous or fun to children. If parents can apply some ingenuity and make the learning process fun for the child, everyone can benefit.

Filed Under: General, Relationships Tagged With: Child, Cooking, Housekeeping

How to Find the Best Jobs

Filed Under: Advice, General Tagged With: Employment, Job hunting, Social network service

Coming Out is Good For Everyone

Nine years can make a big difference in the lives of people who are looking for compassion and acceptance. With same-sex married couples in Massachusetts, it already has.

The Census Bureau reported a sharp increase of over 3,000 in same-sex marriage couples than were reported in the state of Massachusetts from 2000 to 2009. Although, prior to the year 2000, there were many blissfully wed couples living their dream of co-habitation, the white picket fence and the suburban lifestyle, they just weren’t reporting it to the Census Bureau. Many couples cited reasons that are widely known, but still not right or acceptable:

People wouldn’t understand their feelings and decision to “come out”
There would be a mockery made of their decision to openly admit their same-sex marriages
There could be dire consequences for same-sex married couples who made their unions public

Fortunately, in many states like Massachusetts, Connecticut, Iowa, Vermont and New Hampshire, same-sex marriages are now legal and recognized as such, making it more comfortable and easier for couples who are in love to feel confident and better in expressing their love – openly.

When it comes to same-sex marriages, it’s not something that has to be “tolerated,” but instead should be celebrated. Unfortunately, too many couples have lived so long “in the closet,” hiding their love for family and friends. They’ve lived in places where they likely felt more “accepted.” Whether it was in a suburban neighborhood in Connecticut, in Boston apartments or on a college campus in Vermont, their quality of living has been anything but quality-filled.

With the release of the Massachusetts Census Report, same-sex couples are seeing that there are others who share the same ideas as they do. There is more confidence in saying that they love someone of the same gender and want to share a legal lifetime commitment with that person.

Filed Under: General Tagged With: Marriage, Massachusetts, Same-sex marriage

The Vibe Behind Emil Wilbekin

One of the most influential gay men in America in 2002, Emil Wilbekin, is an openly-gay businessman with a “vibe” that cannot be matched.

He is the vice president of developing for all of the Marc Ecko enterprises. This fashion label Ecko brand includes a number of fashion lines including Unltd., Cut & Sew, Red, Kids, and Watches. Each fashion line contains different items with a different style or purpose to them.

He is also the former editor-in-chief for Vibe magazine, a publication owned by Quincy Jones. This is a popular publication centering on urban culture and urban music. Now Wilbekin focuses on his role as the vice president for all brand development for Marc and all of the various facets of his entire designer label.

Emil Wilbekin was born in 1968 in Cincinnati. He graduated from Hampton University and the Columbia University Graduate Program for Journalism located in NYC. He joined up with Vibe magazine in 1992, showcasing his extensive resume, which included editing jobs for Chicago Tribune, People Magazine, Metropolitan Home, and Associated Press. Wilbekin has contributed to a number of different publications and eventually went on to become the editor-in-chief for Vibe in 1992. Under Wilbekin’s leadership, Vibe magazine was able to win a 2002 National Magazine Award.

Today, Wilbekin is the vice president for all brand development for the fashion label. He also serves as a board member for the editorial team at Complex, a magazine that is owned by Marc Ecko as well. Emil Wilbekin is also a philanthropist and so he has served on a number of boards including The Brotherhood/SisterSol, American Society of Magazine Editors, Design Industries Fighting Aids, as well as 24 Hours for Life.

Wilbekin was named one of the most influential gay people in the United States in 2002 by Out magazine.

Filed Under: General Tagged With: Marc Ecko, Vibe