The Necessity of Understanding: Transgender

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Convention defines genders — expectations and assumptions, truths that refuse to bend. The roles of women and men are as specific as they are narrow: crafted long ago, forced to remain even as the centuries yielded progress. Definitions are limiting. Rules are carefully maintained. And the result is a society that refuses to accept anything less than ordinary.

The public can survive such scrutiny. An individual, however, can’t. And those with transgender identities deserve the chance to express themselves.

The notion of transgender individuals often baffles. Its meanings are obscure; its purpose is often mistranslated. And what remains is a term that’s too often tossed about without understanding. Recognizing what it represents is essential, however — this is the only way to gain acceptance for it.

Simply explained, transgender is the label offered to those who defy traditional roles. Masculine and feminine traits are exchanged with ease; and personalities shape these individuals, rather than their assigned sexes. They don’t try to reconstruct their bodies (through surgery or medication). Instead they remain as they were born — but simply refuse to conform to what is expected of them.

It’s estimated that one in every 30,000 men is transgender, along with one of every 100,000 women. These numbers suggest a frequency that is often disregarded within the public — all of whom are too quick to assume that sexual identities are definite. It’s important to understand that this lifestyle is not rare and that it deserves recognition. Refusing to admit its existence is without purpose or compassion.

 

Separate but Equal?

Those who remember the fight for civil liberties of African-Americans and for women may well feel a certain recognition at what the gay community is currently experiencing. As the generations change and the youth of today are much more accepting of a homosexual lifestyle, gays are taking to the streets and the courts to demand basic rights in regards to their relationships.

 

The most prominent example is of course the right to marriage, a right which seems so unlikely to be challenged but which nevertheless is hotly contested. Currently gays can enter into a “civil union” that entails many of the same rights as those enjoyed by a married couple, yet this raises memories of the old “separate but equal” practices of discrimination. Those who oppose gay marriage argue from a definitional standpoint, asserting that marriage means a union between a man and a women; yet, what is really at stake is the societal recognition of a homosexual union as equally legitimate to a heterosexual one.

 

Considering that this nation that has overcome racism and misogyny nevertheless still faces discrimination on both counts, there is no doubt that a complete change in attitude with respect to gay marriage may take a long time to effect; yet, the very fact that this nation has made such great strides in these areas in such a short time should be cause for hope. America is a country of tolerance and progressiveness, ideals its naysayers would do well to remember.

3 Reasons Why You Need an Attorney for a Civil Case

If you practice an alternative lifestyle (a term sometimes used to describe living as a gay, lesbian, bi-sexual, or transgender), there may be a time when you become involved in a civil case. This may concern children, whether they were “already in the picture” when you and your partner began living together, or if your partner should die and custody issues arise.

These are just a couple of examples of why you may need the services of civil attorneys. Others involving children can include if you enter into the adoption process, which can lead to its own custody issue should your current relationship end.

Civil suits can also arise from issues such as health insurance coverage or end-of-life decisions for you and your partner. While some states and companies have made it possible for same-sex couples to be eligible for health insurance coverage, this is not true of everywhere. In those places where this is not the case, civil attorneys can often be helpful in filing class-action or other suits in an effort to change existing laws.

 

You may also have to engage the services of civil attorneys if your partner is dying and his or her family members do not want you to have any decision-making rights at all. Getting legal counsel can help you in this already trying time. If you are gay, lesbian, bi-sexual or transgender, you have legal rights, even if some people would like to believe or insist it is otherwise. Civil attorneys can help you protect your rights and those of your partner.

 

Attend a Pride Parade, Show your Support!

Toronto Gay Pride Parade 2007 

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A “Pride Parade” is an event that normally takes Place around June and is used to show support for LBGT(lesbian,bisexual,gay,transgender)culture, oftentimes having demonstrations for gay marriage. Pride Parades are for everyone who supports and takes part in LBGT culture. Most Parades take place around June, to commemorate the “stonewall riots.” The First Pride Parade took place in New York City,NY in November of 1969. Many organizations who oppose the LBGT lifestyle are also invited to hold opposing demonstrations in opposite parts of town.

Lesbian,Bisexual,Gay and Trans-gender peoples are not the only ones who can attend such parades. Associations like PFLAG(Parents for Lesbians and Gays) and GAA(Gay Activist Alliance) Churches attend as well, like Metropolitan church of Christ, Unitarian Universalist, and United Church Of Christ churches. Parades can be celebratory, with floats and loud music. this is only in towns that are more open and supportive though, as regularly pride parades happen to be political in their nature. Many  who support gay marriage politians use these parades for their political brackets.Pride Parades are held all over the world, even in countries like Israel and Russia.

Celebrities also have taken part in pride parades, many in honorary positions, such as Lady Gaga and Andy Cohen. Many celebrities who have partners and lead a homosexual lifestyle are proud to be participants in pride parades all over the world.  Cities all over the world and in the United States have their own Pride Parades, In order to find out if there is a Pride Parade near you, ask your city mayor, or look online!

Supporting a Friend or Family Member Whilst They are ‘Coming Out’

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Life can be tricky at the best of times.  For a person who is gay, lesbian, bi-sexual or transgender, the simple act of being themselves around friends and family can be difficult and emotionally traumatic.  Especially if friends and family are not supportive of the situation.

When a friend or family member decides to come out, many indicate to the person that ‘they already knew’.  Although there are many out there who are ok with differences in sexuality, there are, unfortunately, many who are not.  Even though you may not agree with a persons choice in sexuality, for whatever reason, it is still possible to show support for your friend or family member.

You don’t need to talk about it if it makes you feel uncomfortable.  Just simply being with the person, and not turning your back on them, both physically and literally will make the world of difference.  Put yourself in that person’s place.  Imagine what it would feel like to have those closest to you not be supportive in a situation where you are simply trying to express who you are.  You would want people to be supportive and accepting.  This empathic way of showing support is vital if you want to show a friend or family member that you are there for them.  Without showing empathy, you will not be able to put yourself in the other persons shoes, and therefore supporting a friend may be difficult for you.  In saying that, it is not entirely impossible.

Not all of us are great at empathy.  Even if you can’t show empathy, you can still be there for someone.

How to Find the Best Jobs

Finding great jobs is not rocket science. There are a couple of strategies that can help you find the position you want-when you want it. The internet is huge resource for any employment search. A second source is personal contacts. These can be the two biggest factors that lead to successful employment.

The internet has numerous “bulletin boards” that have postings for almost every job imaginable. These can range from an hourly dishwasher to the president of a company. These boards can be narrowed down by industry, employer or even company. Most of these resources are free of charge to the employment seeker. A search agent can be set up to automatically e-mail you when a new position that meets your criteria becomes available. This is a great way to make yourself aware of opportunities that interest you-even if you are happy in your current work.

The second strategy in this search is to utilize personal contacts. It is important to know people and talk to people as much as you can-especially if you are looking to work. Establishing a network of people that you can help and, likewise, will want to help you, can be invaluable. Meeting people can be done anywhere: the grocery store, car mechanic, or (even better) industry association meetings and gatherings. Finding people with similar interests can give you a bond that will make them remember you when they come across a position that needs to be filled. Don’t overlook online opportunities to build your personal network. There are many social networking sites where you can “meet” friends of friends that may be able to assist you in your search. There are also professional sites that specialize in career-oriented people.

Finding a great job doesn’t have to be hard. It just takes some organization and persistence. Knowing where to look and how to constantly reach out to people that can help or may be able to help in the future can be the keys to success in the long run.

It Gets Better

College students raising the rainbow flag. 

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In high school, everyone gets bullied for being different. But gay and lesbian students get it worst of all. These kids are told that somethng that is fundamental to who they are is not only different but wrong. And the worst part of it is, unlike those who get picked on for being too short or wearing the wrong kind of shoes, it is not only the kids who are doing it. Adults are doing the bullying as well. Many of them grew up in a different time, and are passing their closed-mindedness on to the next generation. But the tides are changing.

As the recent, and tragic, suicides of gay teens showed us, bullying can be lethal it is a serious thing. And it is up to us to do something about it. Dan Savage’s “It Gets Better” project compiles videos, many from high-profile celebrities, telling gay and lesbian youths that there is hope, that although life seems cruel now, they do have a future.

In California, the state whose famous Proposition 8 delivered a huge blow against same-sex unions (and may end up being the definitive gay marriage battle in the courts), the state senate recently passed a bill mandating that gay history be taught in schools. This bill would hopefully show LGBT that there are people out there like them, fighting for their rights, and there have been for many years. It could also teach all students to be more open-minded.

It will be a hard-won fight, but it gets better.

Create a Successful Online Dating Profile

You’re single and want to meet someone new. But you want to avoid the glitches that come with spending time with someone who really isn’t interested in who you are or what you want. Though finding someone through online singles dating is not an easy task, a successful effort can make a huge difference in your life. The process of creating an online dating profile is definitely a creative venture, one that needs your time, your honest heart and your positive outlook to keep it going.

These online dating ideas will help:

  • Spend some time. Make it a point to create a reflective and interesting profile. See your dating profile as an important “get your foot in the door” opportunity, somewhat like a resume gets you in the door of a desired company.
  • Talk about your family. Are you recently divorced? Have you never been married? Do you have children?
  • Be honest. If you are a woman 5-foot-10 inches in height, don’t change the numbers even if you feel you are too tall for many men. If you don’t like sports, be honest about that. If you need a woman who is a better listener than she is a talker, make sure that your voice is heard.
  • Be positive. Even if you feel like a portion of your profile will be seen as negative, support all your thoughts with positive statements about what you have learned from your life’s experiences.

Singles dating, online or otherwise, doesn’t have to be difficult to be rewarding. What it takes is the ability to project, in a positive way, who you are and what you are looking for in a relationship.

Children can be More Open than their Parents

Children can be more open to new ideas and sharing feelings than some parents. This is due, primarily, to less intimidation and more trust in people than many adults.

The behavior of most adults is shaped by experiences. These experiences can be good and bad. For example if a person touches their hand to a stove top and gets burned, this experience leads them to avoid touching a stove top, without examining the risk, in the future. The same can be said for social situations. Many behaviors formed in childhood can last well into adulthood. An adult may have experienced ridicule or insults for sharing their ideas and feelings in the past. This can lead to not sharing this type of information later in life due to past experiences. Children, on the other hand, do not have as many experiences and will not have the same level of potential intimidation about sharing their feelings on topics.

The same equation can be applied to children and adults when it comes to trust. Adult behavior regarding trust is formed from past experience as well. If an adult trusts people over time, the number of total people increases. With that number of people, the chances of betrayal or having a trust broken also increases. These instances can build habits and behaviors in adults that have not been formed by young people.

Children can be more open, honest and trusting due to their lack of experience and negative outcomes in life. If these young people exercise some caution as they build their bank of experiences, they have the potential to experience more and learn more about themselves and others.

Online Presence Leads to Jobs

Some of the best jobs that come our way are never advertised. Some research states that more than half of all jobs that are filled are staffed with people that had some type of connection to the person looking to fill that job. Establishing an effective online profile can lead people to you and your skills.  There are many popular social and professional networking sites. Setting up the right type of profile is crucial to establishing a presence and drawing the attention of hiring managers.

Don’t lie. It rarely pays to exaggerate ones skills on a resume or a profile. If you claim certain skills and cannot perform them on a new job, you may not last very long at that employer. The key in a profile, as in a resume, is to highlight past successes or demonstrated skills to show value to an employer. Reviewing past accomplishments may take some practice but these items come in handy for resumes and even negotiating a raise during a performance appraisal at a current job.

Match your profile to your personality and your goals. Many networking sites have spots for a personal portraitor “head-shot”. A professional may wear a suit and tie in their picture if that is how they dress on the job and people recognize them in this attire. In contrast an artist or designer may have a much more casual picture highlighting tattoos or facial piercings. At the least, their clothing would match their personal or professional style which is most likely different than a Wall Street Executive.

Establishing a strong online presence can be a path to landing jobs. Choosing the options that suit you and your goals is the key.